Wait upon...the Lord?

Today I am overwhelmed! No, not by kids or work or even my husband...but by feelings. Regret, loss, despair, anger, uncertainty...the list goes on. Last Thursday I received a call that a friend of mine was very ill and was asked to pray. An hour later I received the call that she did not make it. That night I just sat in utter disbelief. How, Why, What???

The next day,Friday, was my 11th anniversary and the whole time I just held my husband as tight as possible and cherished every moment we were together. I felt very guilty...

That brings me to yesterday. Before I go on I will give you some insight about my friend's love for me. She was someone who taught me that no matter what you are going through to always embrace life and to remember that we are given life because God has a plan for us, there were not accidents in life.

She held me the night my nephew was killed and did not give me advice or her opinion but in silence she comforted me. Then a few months later I was again going through some difficult times...this time it was people who had hurt me and I was working on distancing myself from these people. On the phone one night she said she would pray with me (and offered to kick some bu**) but to remember that God does not allow for accidents, but for Divine meetings for all. And although I may be hurt by these people God expected me to love them, even if it was from a distance. WHOA!

Now you must think, she is amazingly full of love...yes she was but she also had the wind knocked out of her, literally. She was diagnosed with Pulmonary hypertension (rare blood vessel disorder of the lung in which the pressure in the pulmonary artery (the blood vessel that leads from the heart to the lungs) rises above normal levels and may become life threatening.)about 4 years ago. She was on oxygen 24x7 and was told not to pick up anything over 10lbs or more (like her kids :(). She could literally die at any given moment...so SHE choose to live every moment like it WAS her last.

One night I picked her up to go to a meeting and she looked over and asked "if I was hungry would you take me somewhere? I said YES...are you hungry? she just laughed and said no but I need a back up plan in case I get bored at this meeting"...we laughed the whole way there. She had twin girls and a wonderful husband and parents...they would come out to meet us in the drive way and were so tender with my friend. She was loved dearly!

She was doing well these last few months, she was in a drug trial and in a recent email was raving about her success. I saw here a few times here and there this past year and we talked over email about silly stuff. The last time I saw her was downtown on the circle while we were viewing the lights during the holidays. I was shocked to see her in a wheelchair and when I reached down to hug her I did not know it would be my last hug...

So that now brings me back to today. As I sat amongst some friends I realized that the old cliche that life is too short was oh so true. Life is to short to let people or circumstances get you down. You should live every day like it is your last. There are those in our lives who inspire us and we should cherish them for they are far and few. I believe my friend was sent here by God to show us that his love lasts forever...As I will love her forever for the lasting impression she has left on my life and those she touched.

Why do bad things happen to good people? If you asked my friend she would just shrug and tell you that life goes on and to hold onto the blessings that God has for each of us. We will ALWAYS be waiting upon the Lord for his next plan to be laid out so we must press on and press in and wait on his will to carry us. If that is all that God wants of me, I can do that! I know my friend waited upon the Lord for even her next breath, every day! Now that is faith, hope and love all in one.

Goodbye dear friend. I miss you more than words can say...I will always love you and will cherish the laughter and life that we shared...

Psalm 27:14Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.