WHERE will he carry us this week???

Today of all days! It has been a day for the record books as far as how far I can be pushed! Do not get me wrong, no one has pushed me there...but I am THERE! Even Bob the Tomato would tell me to let my ANGER GO...but sometimes it feels good to just let it all out at once! No, I did not go screaming at anyone...well, maybe I did!

You see, every other week I have to drive my hubby to the Indianapolis International Airport and I kiss him good-bye only to want to cry as the door slams shut. I watch in the rear view mirror as he struts away inside the big sliding doors that swallow him whole until Friday! Every week I sike myself up and say "Kristi, you are strong! You can do this!" and "I can do all things in CHRIST who strengthens me!!!"...but what I REALLY want to say is..."ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? I HAVE TO GO HOME AND NOT SLEEP AT ALL THIS WEEK, TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS, KEEP THE HOUSE UP, WORK 40-50 HOURS A WEEK, PAY THE BILLS, BE A TAXI FOR WHATEVER NEEDS TO GET DONE...AND STILL ACT LIKE I AM HAPPY???ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???"

So it is at that moment every week I simply say to God..."um, this is all yours friend, I mean if you want me to survive this week yo have to kick-in your share and help me help you!" I know God has never given me anything that I could not handle, and in my 32 years I have got myself in some real fine messes! But he has ALWAYS been here to love me and carry me if I allow him!

You see, a few years ago I was diagnosed with cancer and there were a few pivotal moments when I was just plain FREAKING out! One particular moment was while I was on my way to pick up my niece Kendra. I was on the phone with my husband driving on Emerson Ave and I was so overwhelmed. I was told that day that due to my cancer they would look at doing a complete hysterectomy. Jeff and I were wanting one more child and now that dream was over. As I was driving this fear and anxiety simply overwhemed me. I remember Jeff screaming (and those of you who know Jeff will know he NEVER raises his voice so he was freaking too) at me over the phone to pull the car over! He was incredibly worried as he could tell I was just a mess. As I pulled the car over he began to pray (PTL for a husband who prays!!!) peace over me. It was like I pulled the car over to let a hitch hiker in, and in hoped the Holy Spirit! Seriously! I can try to use words to explain it...but no words can explain how someone who was simply hysterical was in total peace. There were a few other times like that in the process and I know I am totally off my orginal subject, but that was the peace I needed today! God healed me of cancer. I mean flat out healed me and then blessed Jeff and I with twins. But I will tell that story anther time... :)

So back to my story...Today as I pulled away from the airport, on the satelite radio played "Holy is the Lamb"and although I somewhat felt like I was sinning screaming it...I began to feel his peace just knowing that he is my peace that passes all understanding! He really is!

So my question to you and I guess me, is WHERE will he carry us this week, if we allow him???