The new and the old...

Well, I am going to refrain from posting new stuff for a while. I have been bribed by a friend to start a food blog so I am going to whip it up today and trip to post weekly! We will see how it goes. Thanks for reading and take care!

Sleep? Who needs SLEEP???

So lately I have been a bit of a night owl. If it is not work it is school, if it is not school it is board duties, if it is not board duties well then it is just plain old life! The summer is turning out to be pretty busy. I promised Jeff that I would not plan any "house" projects this summer but our social calendar has been a bit crazy! It has been good to spend time with friends and family!

I am MOST excited about Bryce playing football for the first time!!! I am counting down the days! He has been in Jujitsu for two years now but team sports are so much fun for parents! I remember his first soccer game, I went nuts! But after scoring more points for the OTHER team the whole season we decided it was not his game. I think I took him out too soon though. Have you ever given up before you really should? Even on your kids? I did the same thing with Bryce and piano. However he does rock out on the acoustic guitar now so maybe I am being too hard on myself??? He recently wrote his on diddy for the first time and I have to say it was pretty good. I want to get the twins in sports so this summer so we started them in dance. Elyse is in tap and Tryston is in gymnastics. It is a hoot watching them! Maybe soccer in the spring?

On a crazy note, I am getting ready to start a 20 week roll of math in school! I did not mean to plan it this way, but it is what it is! If I go MIA until March, I am here...just trying to survive!

Have a wonderful summer!!! C-Ya!

Floridians, for 4 days!

This past weekend Jeff and I took the twins for their long awaited vacation to Florida. I spent 4 days packing and preparing and by Thursday when it was time to leave I was already exhausted! This was our first real vacation with the twins and I was determined it was going to be awesome. From the moment we left the house in the limo the kids were full of questions and great anticipation of what was to come.

When we got to the airport the check-in was smooth and the TSA crew that took us through security were the BOMB! (sorry that is the only time that I could ever say bomb around the name TSA) They were exceedingly nice and helpful and even talked to the kids about why they were checking everyone.

The flight was just o.k. as the airline stewardess was totally clueless about what a peanut allergy even was so that was quite annoying, btw, I do really despise Delta airlines! But, once we got to Palm Beach, Fl and walked outside to feel the oh so lovely heat and thick humidity we knew we were officially on vacation!

We went swimming every day! We went to the beach and played and decided the pool was much more fun with 2 four year olds! LOL We even took a quick trip to Sawgrass Mills and did a little post birthday shopping for a well deserving Mommy! :) We went on an amphibious vehicle/boat trip which was lots of fun! My most enjoyable moment was at a place called Guanna Bannas! It was this amazing outdoor restaurant that was covered in shade by trees and nature. It was carved into an inlet and was absolutely beautiful!

Coming home, well that was a nightmare due to a stretch of a 10 hour trip home from FL to NY to IN and with toddlers who refused to nap! We had a few full blown melt downs and oh yes, Tryston learning that is hard to pee straight on a bumpy plane ride...poor guy who had to see it all! Ugh!

As crazy as all of the 4 days were, I had a smashing time with my twins. Even enjoyed some laughs with my husband as we did our favorite thing, people watch. As we arrived home Bryce was waiting eagerly to greet us! And after hearing some of the craziness was very thankful he stayed home for this first trip!

I saw a whole new side to my kids on this trip, we really did have fun and enjoy what God has created around us! He really does create all things for his pleasure! Have a great week!!!

The birds and bees, life as I now know it...and catching up!

I can tell you right now that I am finally catching my breath after a crazy 3 months! I am not even sure where to begin...

I had my tonsils out in March I think...I was sick and desperate to get come relief! And relief is NOT how I would explain having your tonsils out as an adult. It was horrible and painful...but that is exactly what the Dr. told me to expect. But I am better now! So that is all that matters.

Bryce turned 11 in March and the twins turned 4. That alone is still hard for me to swallow. I now have a pre-teen!!! :}

But with that said...comes the birds and the bees. This past April we sat Bryce down to explain the birds and bees...surprisingly he immediately told us that he knew what he needed to know from Yogi Bear...Um huh? You can imagine the look Jeff and I shared at that moment! Here nor there we got through 1st base and left it at there. We will pick the talk up before he heads to pre-teen camp this July. He is also starting football in the fall and we are all excited about that!! He will be a linebacker!

Bryce and I were able to share a week together in FL for his 5th grade trip to Melborne beach! It was a blast and we learned so much about each other. For a mom it was a dream come true! I too got some alone time to just hang at the beach and yes...I had my laptop with me working! I also became closer with a friend that was a nice treat!

As for the twins, Elyse is starting tap class in June and Tryston is starting gymnastics too! They are both excited! I think they are even ready for soccer in the fall...but with me in school I am not sure if we will be able to handle all of the chaos! We will see!

As for the practical yet romantic side of my life I took 5 weeks off school to sorta reconnect with my life. Working full time, school, and family really took its toll on me along with my surgeries. I am excited to report I have lost 91 lbs and still have about 40 more to go. It has not been easy but seeing how great I feel makes it all worth it!

I can tell you all that these last 3 months of my life have been a good deep soul searching for what is important in life. I am so blessed to have my husband as my best friend and those around us who love and support us. This has been a difficult time too with my mom falling ill and the uncertainty of her condition. But as always, God it good!

I promise to be more inspiring next time but sometimes life is just real and ugly! So there it is! :)

Those Three Little Words...

It is true that every February we are reminded just how much somebody loves us. I for one think a day all about love is quite fantastic. But I think that if that is the only day you show some love then maybe you should just not bother.

You see, for me love is a spiritual thing. It is more than a feeling or emotion. It is made with sugar and spice, but it has some flour and eggs to make it strong and fluffy! On this day of love I am particularly reminded just how much love means to me.

I have been in love maybe 3 times in my life. My first was in high school my junior year. Met this crazy guy and fell head over heels for him. He was a freshman and we will just name him Mr. B. He made me laugh and that is why I fell in love with him. He was different than all the other guys in school, not weird but different.

Next was after I graduated high school. It was in July and I met this guy we will call Mr. X, while playing volley ball at church. We went and watched fireworks…and sat and talked for a good part of the night. I fell in love with him because he was older and more mature. No, not years older, but he was in college and I was looking for stability.

And then there is Jeff. When I met Jeff I did NOT fall in love with him. In fact, I thought he was the biggest jerk ever! Seriously! I thought he was arrogant, rude and his silence and awkwardness about killed me. In fact I still remember the first time we actually held a conversation..I felt guilty for how harshly I had judged him; he was actually a nice guy and quite shy. We met at work and he was in management so he could not ask me out on a date. So I asked him out…in a roundabout way. I asked him “If a girl like me were to ask you out on a date, where would you take her?” He replied, “I would take her anywhere to get a first date.” Um, he had me at “I”…

We dated for a few months when one day I heard from my boss that Jeff had resigned from his job. I semi FREAKED because we were not really supposed to be dating…but we were. I will NEVER forget how ticked off I was at him for not telling me he was leaving. You see, he lived in Virginia and I lived in Indy so the ONLY time we saw each other is when he came out on business trips, which was about every 2 weeks. That night on the phone I remember just letting him have it! I was so hurt! I did not even let him get a word in edge wise! And after I was done there was silence. He then asked if I was “done” with all of my ranting. I said yes and he then began to explain that in order to tell me something that he had been wanting to say for quite some time he had to leave his job. In the next breath he told me that he loved me! I did indeed drop the phone.

You see, we had been dating for about 4 months and those were words I was not sure I would ever want to hear again…but when he uttered them my heart just melted.

I am not sure at that point in my life if I believed in the term soul mate. I had heard the term thrown around, but I was so bitter from things in my past that I thought hearing those words would usher in feelings of regret and chaos. But instead those three words to me were peaceful, kind, loving and gentle. They were words that came at the right time and for the right reason. Having a long distance relationship is hard enough, but it helped me take the physical aspect out of a relationship. He loved me for who I really was.

As the story goes, there is no real happily ever after in any real relationship that I know of. You have bad times and you both learn from them. You have good times and you cherish them. I think that overall I am a better person for Jeff loving me. Actually, I am a better person for falling in love with those that I have loved. I think that your walk in life can take you down interesting roads and it is your choice to embrace and learn from those experiences. I choose to embrace life! I choose to love and be loved by those in my life.

I challenge you to look at the people in your life and begin to understand why you first fell in love with them. I think you will see them in a new light! Cheers!

Beautiful Blessings!!!

I cannot believe this day has actually come and now gone for us as a family. Tryston has passed both of his food trials and we can now go and live like a normal family. We are blessed beyond measure! I am still in shock from the events the last few months. I know God has his hand on our family and for that I am so thankful. Next year when he turns 5 we will be tested for peanuts…so stay posted!

When we were walking out of Riley today I asked Tryston what is the first place he want to go…he said Red Robin! HA! We eat there already once a month and that was a very big treat for him. They accommodate food allergies unlike any restaurant!!! But then he came to his senses and like any four year old said he wanted to go to Bouncer Town! So next Monday I promised to take him and his brother and sister there to celebrate!!!

Thank you for all of the heart-felt prayers. We feel your prayers and warm wishes…you have truly blessed us! We are elated by this miracle in our lives! I always say that my kids ARE a gift from God, but being able to fully enjoy them everywhere is also a gift! When I think of all the places we can go now I am just beside myself! I am SURE we will see you around town SOMEWHERE now!

Thanks and God Bless!!!

BTW, Dr. Leickly has started a blog! Ha! He is too cool! Here is his site…
http://leicklystory.wordpress.com/

A bit boring....sorry...

I am not looking forward to next week. In fact…if I could just call in sick from work, school, and being a Mommy to Elyse, Tryston, and Bryce that would be grand! It is not that I do not enjoy all of these things, in fact I really do! But Monday begins a 10 week session where I need to go to school 2 nights a week. I am trying not to grunt and grumble as I pulled out my first homework assignment that is DUE on Monday…but I am and I DID!

So the next 10 weeks are going to be fun! Jeff is traveling more too…so that makes life even more fun! But, I have to stay focused…keep my head up and my eyes toward heaven and I know God will get me through all of this…well maybe some Starbucks too!!!

Tryston’s egg challenge is at Riley on Monday from 8am-noon…please pray that all goes well and we will only be left with a peanut allergy!!! He is such a sweet little man!

Bryce has an orthodontic appointment next week for spacers to be placed for his braces…and yes, I have NOT told him yet!

And Elyse has her final dance class with her BFF next week too!

At work we are embracing PANO and the fun that we can have with VMWare when they are used together? Never a dull moment in our office!

Oh, and today I hit my 50 lb weight loss goal! That was a bit exciting too! So there is some good in the world! And thanks to Milydia and Amy I had some much needed sushi and shopping! Thank girls!

OK, sorry this is so boring! I am looking forward to V-Day! J Jeff has a surprise cooked up…Have a great week!!!

Quick Update!!!

Today I went to St. V's to get my first fill in my lap band! I am quite excited! I have lost 46 lbs! Almost 1/2 way to my goal and I am 7 weeks out!!! The Dr. was quite pleased! I am too! Jeff also surprised me with a diamond bracelet a few months back...and today I wore it for the first time! That was icing on the cake! I hear my Valentines gift matches??? :)

As for Tryston...his egg challenge is this coming Monday so please keep us in your prayers! If he passes this he requested fried rice from his Lola Emily! HA!

It is hard to believe that IF he passes this test (which I am pretty sure he will) we can go on family vacations, out to eat with friends and family and can go anywhere without boundaries! That is very exciting to our family!!!

We have so much to be excited for! Praise the Lord!!1 Just had to share!!!

What was I thinking?

There are many times I pose this question…do you? Like when I take my kids to Chuckie Cheese, or brave a store with all THREE…or only buy one of something when I know I need three to prevent WW3 breaking out in the Espiritu home.

But today I sit and realize that my kids are not longer babies! What was I thinking having three kids…knowing that they will just grow-up and leave one day. I am so attached to them it kills me to think about one more birthday sneaking up on me! The twins will be 4 tomorrow…and just a few weeks later Bryce will be 11! Where did the time go?

This weekend Elyse and I pulled out some albums of when I was in high school and as we were looking at the pictures she kept asking me who all of these people were. There were several pictures of me going to dances and she would ask “Is that Daddy with you there?” I had to explain who each person was and why I was with them. But we got to one picture in the past and she asked me if I still had the dress. I told her that I had since given it away…and she asked “what were you thinking?” She thought the dress was just beautiful!

Granted I am not a sentimental person when it comes to things. In fact I am very unattached to things at this time in my life. Past experiences left me numb to what money can buy. It is true that money can’t but you love…but it can bring you the illusion of love if you feel empty inside. Should things that are old bring you joy? My grandfather Fred’s bible brings warmth from the word of God to soul. My mother’s ironing board brings me laughter of how my husband proposed to me…That is what things should bring to you.

One day, when I am gone I do not want my children or grandchildren to wonder, “what was she thinking”…I want them to know that every thought and every move I made in life had purpose and meaning.

Psalm 33:11But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

In AWE of a MIRACLE!

To say that Tryston and Elyse are a miracle is just one thing, because they truly are! But to say that God turned around and HEALED Tryston is TOTALLY AWESOME!

Tryston has been anaphylactic to dairy, eggs and peanuts since he was 9 months old...TODAY our own Dr. Leicky wrote in his chart NO REACTION TO DAIRY...DAIRY IS CLEAR! I am just beside myself in total amazement!! I cried when I had to sign a waver this morning regarding just how serious this food trial was...even the Dr. hesitated for a moment when he saw my reaction to the form. It basically said if he died that it was MY fault. He almost died at 9 months from an anaphylactic reaction so this was a big thing!

TODAY after eating 8 bowls of dairy we walked out of there with NO dairy allergy and a date for an egg food trial!!!

Jeff and I sincerely thank everyone for your prayers and well wishes! Feb 9th is the BIG date for the next hurdle! Praise the Lord with us! And keep us on your calendar for Feb 9th!!!

Big DAY!

Well, tomorrow is a BIG day for Tryston!!! In November our skin testing went horribly WRONG! Jeff went to his men's prayer group and they prayed over Tryston and our broken hearts! A week before Christmas we received the blood tests back and they totally contradicted the skin tests! I showed ZERO presence of the dairy and egg allergy and little to no peanut allergy!!! Dr. Leickly recommended that we continue with a food trial and TOMORROW is the day! Whoo Hoo! We are so excited to be trialing dairy. I am also scared out of my mind to tell you the truth! I know there are many people praying for our little man...and Pastor Tim prayed over us again in Church today! Our appointment is 4 hours long for the trial and starts at 8am...please say a prayer for us tomorrow!

Also, on a separate note! To date I have lost 42 lbs! Only 6 weeks out of surgery! I am super excited! Just thought I would share!!! :)

Psalm 118:24
This is the day that the LORD has made;let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Moving Forward...And NOT Looking back!

Why do we choose to go through life being torn down? Why do we choose to allow ourselves to self-destruct? Why do we let things get to a point that your only two choices are to give up or press on like there is no tomorrow? Why do we live for tomorrow when today is RIGHT in front of us desiring our attention? Why? Because we are human, weak and tired. But with that very choice we have the opportunity to turn life around. With one word of affirmation we can turn a dull and dismal situation into the bright spring-like hope that we all desire. Today is THAT day for me!

Today is my surgery! Today IS MY new day! MY new hope! For the last 4 1/2 years I have lived in misery. Not being able to chase after kids, tie my own shoes, catch my breath and the list goes on. Today is the first step back to a life where I was once healthy and was not ridden with diabetes and arthritis! It is going to take a lot of work but I am ready to face my giant and with God's amazing grace and strength I am going to turn this mess around!

There are so many people who have rallied around me with prayers, love and support! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please keep praying!!!

Looking for the Mini ME!

Five years ago I can tell you that I was happy and healthy. Today...I am still happy but not all that healthy and that is going to change.

In 2004 we started the journey to get pregnant. Through infertility and some other issues I packed on some weight...and THEN got pregnant! Then during pregnancy packed on more weight...pick up type II diabetes...packed on more weight after the twins were born and here I am today! I am not shy to say that I put on 112 pounds since the day I met Jeff. Actually, to be even more factual...after I gave birth to Bryce (my 10 year old now) I weighed at most 120 pounds...so I was even under weight.

But...weight is not the issue. It is health! After the last 4 years of being unhealthy...I am putting my foot down. For the last year and half I have seen Dr. after Dr. to fully try to understand WHY I have packed on the weight. I know know why...and now I am tackling it head on.

On Dec 16th of this year I will undergo lap-band surgery. I have had 3 different Dr. opinions and several AH HA moments. This will not be an easy road...in fact it may even flat out suck at first. But I am ready.

Why? I am ready to be able to...play with my kids without issue, bend over without feeling like I will pass out, to feel like I look beautiful even when my husband tells me over and over again...I just want to feel healthy and beautiful.

As for support? My family is behind me 100%! I have some fantastic friends who have cheered me on this last year and half during this journey. I have plenty of respect for my Dr.. So me, myself and I are ready!

So...my goal? It took me a year and half to gain this mess...so I am shooting for 1 year to loose it. Ready! Set! GO! See you on the thinner side of life! :)

What I DO know...and what I don't CARE to know...

There are times in life where it can be a good thing to be on the other side of being in the "know"... When is a tricky situation and a good question.

I am now 32 years old and I am having some health issues. I want to KNOW why I feel like crap! I want to understand HOW to feel better...but no one can tell me! I know I have diabetes, arthritis, and to top all of that I am over weight. I AM doing something about it...but am I doing enough?

I am setting out on a journey to improve my health in several ways.

Emotionally, I am removing all of the crap in my life that drags me down. Whether it be a past issue or person I have news...HEADS UP...you have hit 3 strikes and you are out. I have also pondered for years if and when my father walks into my life what would I do? It has kept me in prison of sorts...no more! If and when is your choice...I am living for today to look forward to the future. I have had friends in the past who have caused confusion, confusion is not of God...so I am done with that too! You see, you can forgive and forget the deed and move on but choose to distance the hurt. I choose to move on because I do not need hurt in my life.

Spiritually, I am pressing forward to further my relationship with God. I want to go deeper, and wider with what God wants for me and my family. I want to walk daily in the WILL of God!

Physically, I am ready for a change. I am ready to feel better! I have taken some major steps in improving my health this year. I am working on a much LARGER change that I am very excited about...more details to follow soon!

Family, I want to relish in the love of my family! My family is amazing and I am so blessed to have them supporting me day in and day out. And I must add that having my husband home now has been a breath of fresh air!

Friends, where do I even begin? I am blessed with the friends I have and I cherish our friendships. Need I say more?

So, I DO know that I am moving forward with great anticipation...and no, I really do NOT want to hear anything negative...I just want to live in the "Know"!!!

I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.Psalm 119:168

Makes you think...What if?

A few weeks ago we were sitting at the dinner table. It was a typical Sunday evening as I was preparing food for Tryston to eat all week. As we sat down to eat I had mentioned that the aroma of spaghetti, brownies, sloppy joes and a few other items all mixed together were very unappetizing. So to fix it I pulled out this brand new oil diffuser that was labeled to smell like Carmel apples...yum! I poured it and put the rods in and placed it on the table and thought the smell was absolutely heavenly! Until...

OK, so I will pause and put a plug in here that my boy twin Tryston is anaphylactic to dairy eggs and peanuts. He has gone into shock twice in his 3 year old life and on top of that he has a TOUCH allergy to dairy which means if he touches anything or anyone who has dairy on them or it...he can become very ill and could die.

OK, so here we all were enjoying dinner when all the sudden Tryston starts gasping for air. He can not breathe!!! I am thinking...what the HECK! Everything on this table is safe...nothing new...but the oil diffuser. I removed it quickly...started asking him questions and he was having a hard time telling me what was wrong. I threw on some clothes and proceeded to the nearest ER! When we got to the ER they immediately took his pulse-ox (I am sure that is not the medical way to write it..but phonetically it sounds right :) ) and he was indeed having issues! So they rushed him to the back and began checking him and administering a treatment. We were there 3-4 hours and they took tests and x-rays and then sent us home. we will follow-up with the results with our Riley Dr.

As we were walking out of the hospital I had this horrible flash-back of Tryston going into shock just a year or so ago. My son could have died if it were not the quick thinking of a certain teacher at our school. But how many times do we feel like, OMG my son almost died? I actually think about it every day, minute, second. When you almost loose a child and God hands them back to give you one more chance it really makes you think about your kids in a whole new light. Yes, I still discipline them, they are not crazy and into everything as if they rule my world...but when I hug them...I may hug them a wee bit tighter,kiss them more...or agree to snuggle when I really had a ton of work or homework that is due.

You see, life IS too short and there might not always be a 2nd chance. Every time Jeff and the kids leave I think...could it be the last time I say I love you? If so I had better make sure I say it. My oldest nephew Brian passed away from a horrible motorcycle accident and I think everyday what would I have said if I knew that on the phone that night was the last time I could talk to him? I live that regret everyday...I should have said I love you one more time.

So what will you do to ensure that if the "what ifs" become reality in your life you have said all that you wanted to, or hugged your spouse more or let your ten year old tell you one more joke just so you can hear them laugh....

Makes you think...

Through My Daughters Eyes...

My daughter Elyse is something else. She has my passion for life...my temperament (whoa boy)...but her daddy's enduring since of humor. I just love sitting back and watching her "do her thing" and just laugh. She is "going through something"...like a sassy GIRL thing and she is showing a new side. You see she is very stubborn (yes, I admit it) just like her mom...

Today she was home from school due to the snow fall and wanted to just hang with ME! I was thrilled because she is not the snuggle type...so when you get ANYTHING from her you take what you get! However today it was sad because she is getting taller and she no longer fits on my lap...in fact she is so tall her legs just draped over the chair!

We sat and talked about her doll...her nails...going shopping...friends...and her fear of dogs. Today she shared her perspective on many things including our hair color and skin color being different. She asked what I drank when she was in my tummy to make her skin so pretty! I just died laughing!

You see through her eyes we are the same, but different. I share many attributes with my children, but they do not exactly resemble me. In fact, when the twins were one we were at St. F in the lobby waiting to register them for their ear-tube surgery. The registration nurse came over and bent down and said "they are so cute, where did you adopt them from!" A few minutes later Jeff walked in from parking the car and the lady laughed and said..."now I see where you got the from!"

You see, they may never look like me, but to my daughter she does not see that. How amazing that God views us the same way. We may look 100% different from him, but we are still his children! I just love that! Funny how our kids teach us lessons at times. Just had to share! :)

Back on TRACK....

Today is Friday..I am sitting in my PJ's and have officially been working for about 3 hours now. I just love working from home! And I am thankful for the absence of video conf. today! :)

These past two weeks have been crazy and stressful...but oddly enough I have enjoyed them. Yes, I thrive off of stress and it seems to love me too!

Having said all of that...I also feel very neglectful. I have spent countless hours on a paper for school that I finally finished the other night at 3am! So I have neglected family and some very dear friends!!! So today I am going to try to catch up!!! With everything...ever heard of drinking out of a fire hose??? Today I plan on doing it!

You see, I try to be a good daughter of the king, wife, mom, sister, aunt, friend, and employee...but time and time again I miss the mark! I get busy with life and my focus wonders to another planet. But then there are the days that I get back on track! Today is that day!

I hope that if you have lost your focus on life that you too will make today about getting back on track!!! Have a great weekend!!!

Beautiful Blessings!

Today I feel extraordinarily blessed! No, I did not win the lottery (can't win if you do not agree with playing), and no I am not sitting at some spa...although that sounds good about now! Instead I am blessed by the people in my life!!!

This past 2 years have been anything BUT easy. Between Jeff being on the road for work, me getting the itch to go back to college, to Bryce hitting puberty, the twins in the terrible threes...the list goes on...BUT what makes this all worth while is how God has used people in my life to help and encourage me!

I am sure I will miss a few and please forgive me but this is what my support group looks like...are you sitting down???

My husband who called me every night and talked to me no matter how disgruntal I was...
My son Bryce who stepped up to being my little man of the house...
The twins for making me laugh when I wanted to cry...
My Mom for helping me with the house and loving me when I am absolutely unlovable...
My dad for being a man of integrity and for never forgetting to just call me when God laid me on his heart...
For my brothers for sending me emails and making me laugh...
For my sister-in-laws for putting up with all 3 of my brothers...and me too...
For my mother and father-in-law for always praying for us and for blessing Bryce with summers to remember...
For the Beech Tree House staff for loving my kids and teaching them God's love...
For the Church family at Grace for accepting us for who we are and for going above and beyond to ensure that our little Tryston can learn the word of God in a dairy-egg-peanut free enviroment...
For the MoMii group...what an amazing group of talented women...who LOVE CIP!!!! ;)
For Amie and Todd...you are amazing friends and we are blessed by you every day...
For Besty and Family...you ARE part of the Espiritu's whether you like it or not...
The Garcia's...you have blessed us in a million ways...we love you...
For the Meadow Bend Girls...for allowing me to vent and for loving me after I am done...
For my neighbors Sue and Larry...thank you for bringing my trash cans in...and mowing my grass when I was having a bad day :) Thank you!!!...
For my friend Amy...for just loving me and my kiddos...
For Lisa...for organizing my world :)...
Angel, Mohota, Jennifer and Alana for letting me into your circle of friends...and oh yeah...a new toilet seat?...
For Joni...for you being you and taking the pictures that make my heart melt...
For the creator of Facebook...you have made my disconnected world better again...
For my friend Milydia who is my lunch date buddy and dear friend...
For Caroline at Nordstom's for helping me conduct my monthly retail therapy session...
For Angie...for just being you...
For Lexi for reminding me that life is to short for discontent or meritocracy!!!
For Janna reminding me that LOVE is amazing and should be enjoyed and cherished!!!
For Marian College for giving me tools to reach an important goal in my life!

And for all of those who have loved us during a very difficult 2 years...who have listened to me ramble...shared a meal with us...came over just to sit and who have PRAYED for us!!!

You see, without all of these people I would have lost my mind! If I missed you it is only because I am in a hurry and I will think of you while I am driving somewhere and be mad at myself and will have to come and edit this post later so check back...

But mostly to God for giving me the strength to wake up each morning and realize that his GRACE and LOVE is NEW every day!!! How cool is that!!!!!!!!!

Have a great week! Love you all!!!

Wait upon...the Lord?

Today I am overwhelmed! No, not by kids or work or even my husband...but by feelings. Regret, loss, despair, anger, uncertainty...the list goes on. Last Thursday I received a call that a friend of mine was very ill and was asked to pray. An hour later I received the call that she did not make it. That night I just sat in utter disbelief. How, Why, What???

The next day,Friday, was my 11th anniversary and the whole time I just held my husband as tight as possible and cherished every moment we were together. I felt very guilty...

That brings me to yesterday. Before I go on I will give you some insight about my friend's love for me. She was someone who taught me that no matter what you are going through to always embrace life and to remember that we are given life because God has a plan for us, there were not accidents in life.

She held me the night my nephew was killed and did not give me advice or her opinion but in silence she comforted me. Then a few months later I was again going through some difficult times...this time it was people who had hurt me and I was working on distancing myself from these people. On the phone one night she said she would pray with me (and offered to kick some bu**) but to remember that God does not allow for accidents, but for Divine meetings for all. And although I may be hurt by these people God expected me to love them, even if it was from a distance. WHOA!

Now you must think, she is amazingly full of love...yes she was but she also had the wind knocked out of her, literally. She was diagnosed with Pulmonary hypertension (rare blood vessel disorder of the lung in which the pressure in the pulmonary artery (the blood vessel that leads from the heart to the lungs) rises above normal levels and may become life threatening.)about 4 years ago. She was on oxygen 24x7 and was told not to pick up anything over 10lbs or more (like her kids :(). She could literally die at any given moment...so SHE choose to live every moment like it WAS her last.

One night I picked her up to go to a meeting and she looked over and asked "if I was hungry would you take me somewhere? I said YES...are you hungry? she just laughed and said no but I need a back up plan in case I get bored at this meeting"...we laughed the whole way there. She had twin girls and a wonderful husband and parents...they would come out to meet us in the drive way and were so tender with my friend. She was loved dearly!

She was doing well these last few months, she was in a drug trial and in a recent email was raving about her success. I saw here a few times here and there this past year and we talked over email about silly stuff. The last time I saw her was downtown on the circle while we were viewing the lights during the holidays. I was shocked to see her in a wheelchair and when I reached down to hug her I did not know it would be my last hug...

So that now brings me back to today. As I sat amongst some friends I realized that the old cliche that life is too short was oh so true. Life is to short to let people or circumstances get you down. You should live every day like it is your last. There are those in our lives who inspire us and we should cherish them for they are far and few. I believe my friend was sent here by God to show us that his love lasts forever...As I will love her forever for the lasting impression she has left on my life and those she touched.

Why do bad things happen to good people? If you asked my friend she would just shrug and tell you that life goes on and to hold onto the blessings that God has for each of us. We will ALWAYS be waiting upon the Lord for his next plan to be laid out so we must press on and press in and wait on his will to carry us. If that is all that God wants of me, I can do that! I know my friend waited upon the Lord for even her next breath, every day! Now that is faith, hope and love all in one.

Goodbye dear friend. I miss you more than words can say...I will always love you and will cherish the laughter and life that we shared...

Psalm 27:14Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Big, Bigger and BIGGEST!

There I stand at Target as my kids are screaming at the top of their lungs "NO...I AM THE BIGGEST" I am a million shades of red and would like to find some duct tape to silence them but instead I just belt out "God is bigger than ALL of you and if you do not hush he himself will come down and punish you for embarrassing me!!!"... Let's just say that for MILES (it seemed) there was silence. Not just from my kids but from all of those around me.

Taking this story back a few minutes earlier would give you a bit more insight... I hope. You see my little Tryston has life threatening food allergies to dairy, eggs and peanuts and can not actually sit in the cart at the grocery store since he has a touch allergy. So in order to avoid a fight (BIG LOL) I have always told the twins they were too big for the cart. This normally works as I only take them on very short trips like 1-2 items. However on this day I started WW3 at Target between the twins. I swear I didn't mean to!!! I just made a simple statement..."No guys, no one can get in the cart because you are too big" But you see they are getting older and have personalities of their own now. Let's just say that my womb is the ONLY thing they have shared in the last 3 years and even that was rough waters.

The real issue is with Elyse. She has recently been told that she is 1 inch taller that Tryston so to her she is bigger...So that is the wind that blew the fire to a blaze!

After this most embarrassing moment I regained my composure and began walking out of the door until some old guy started clapping for me. Let's just say I felt bad enough...but come on you JERK!!! He leaned over as we were walking out the door and said in a fairly loud voice "It is about time parents these day recognize that kids should fear God and how big he really is." I got in the car and just sat there in awe...and said HUH??? Yeah, I cried too. Nothing new there.

Today I think I finally get it. We as parents revert to showing kids this lovey-dovey happy God. Granted he does love us..but where is the FEAR that I learned as a child that kept me form disobedience? Ours kids need that! I know I need it! Yes, we think we are all so big and all that...but GOD if bigger that the biggest!

Psalm 104:32 he who looks at the earth, and it trembles, who touches the mountains, and they smoke. :)